Tuesday, June 29, 2004

I've been CASUALLY perusing some of the online personal ad pages, like Salon.com and Match.com, and I want to scream out to the online men of America: DUDES! Stop using the following words or phrases in your little one-line blurbs:

Dragons/Phasers/Beam Me Up, Scottie/Computer/Methinks


It Goes to 11 (Jesus, must we flog that dead horse ONE MORE TIME? I still love the movie, don't get me wrong, and I even use the phrase itself now and then, but seriously, Dudes, it's so overused as a personal blurb that you all need to put your liitle thinkin' caps on and just find a NEW LINE! There's LOTS of funny movies out there to steal from. I'll take a good old-fashioned Caddyshack reference at this point!)

Just Lookin' (Nice, real nice. I'm just lookin' on past your ad.)

Dirtbag (Oooh, how clever, he called himself a dirtbag so we don't have to!)

and worst of all...MISPELLED WORDS!!! I mean, come on. Do a little spellcheck on your one-line blurb that is probably your last-ditch chance at happiness. OK?

And then if I actually looked at someone's profile (about ten out of 150), I immediately scanned down to what their 'preferences' for women were, and if they had ANY weight preferences whatsoever, BOOM, I was outta there. Sure, I know people like what they like and that is their perogative, but I don't have weight prefernces, so why should they? And if they have any, they almost always turn out to be something along the lines of: height 4'11"-6'2", weight 90-145. Meaning they would accept a 145 pounder as long as they were over SIX feet tall. Good luck with THAT, Dudes! And think how many awesome ladies they are NOT meeting just because said hottie is not within their deluded weight/height range. J'accuse, Dudes, j'accuse!

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